How To Stop Arguments
How to stop arguments? If you’re sick of asking yourself this question, then worry no more because in this article I’m going to finally explain how you can deal with your arguments quickly and easily.
Firstly, I’m going to explain why you argue so much with your partner and why every couple on planet earth will argue at some point in their life.
You’ll discover why it’s impossible to resolve your arguments with your partner when you’re angry with them and what you really need to do instead. It’s important that you understand this, if you really want to stop your arguments from escalating into bigger relationship problems.
I’m going to share with you 1 of my best relaxation exercises that you can use right away to help yourself to calm down when you’re angry with your partner. I’ll explain why it’s important to use relaxation exercises when you are angry with your partner.
Next, I’m going share with you my proven 4-Step Argument Resolution Blueprint. I’ll explain the 4 simple steps that you’ll need to take if you’re serious about dealing with your arguments quickly and easily.
I’ll share with you can reduce arguments in a relationship by using my proven 4-step L.I.F.E Transformation Blueprint. It’s a simple but effective blueprint that you can use right away.
Finally, communicating effectively is essential if you want to know how to stop arguments. Therefore, you’ll need to read this article to the very end because you’ll know how you can communicate effectively with your partner. I’m going to reveal my simple but very effective 4-Step Communication Method.
Why Do We Argue So Much?
It’s important to point out that every couple argue with each other from time to time. However, if your arguments are destroying your relationship then you to need to find ways to resolve your arguments quickly and easily.
Moreover, the reason why every couple argue with each other from time to times is because we are all very different people. Both you and your partner a very different people. For the most part, you’ll both have very different beliefs and values.
You both have very different beliefs and values because you’ve both been brought up by different parents and you’ve been around different significant people who you’ve both learned from.
One of things that I always say to my clients is “if you and your partner separate right now, you’ll both end up meet someone new and eventually you’ll end up arguing with them” so it’s better learn how to resolve your arguments instead.
Therefore, once you’ve read this article to the very end, you’ll have a set of tools and skills that you can use to resolve your arguments quickly and easily. You'll finally know how to stop arguments.
Why It’s Impossible To Resolve Your Arguments When You Are Angry?
I’ve discovered that It’s impossible to resolve your arguments with your partner when you’re angry with the. This is because of the way our brain is designed.
To keep it simple, your brain has two parts that you need to understand when it comes to resolving arguments.
The first part is your emotional part, this part of your brain only understands emotion, it doesn’t understand logic. The second part is your logic, this part of your brain doesn’t understand emotion.
Basically, when you can’t be in both parts of your brain at the same time. For example, when angry with your partner you’re not thinking logical. Therefore, you’ll never resolve your argument. It’s important that you are thinking logical before you try to resolve your arguments.
Now that you understand why It’s impossible to resolve your arguments when you’re angry with your partner, it’s important that you know how you can get back into the logical part of your brain. In this next section I’ll explain what you need to do instead.
Understanding this process is the first step if you want to know how to stop arguments.
If you're sick of arguing with your partner, book your free telephone consultation today and find out how our relationship counsellor can help you. Get all the details here.
Seven, Seven, Seven (relaxation exercises)
One of the best ways to calm down when you’re angry with your partner, is to practice a relaxation exercise. Once you’re relaxed, you’ll start to move back into the logical part of your brain.
Now, I’ll walk you through my Seven, Seven, Seven relaxation exercise.
1 - Make sure you’re sitting comfortably with your feet grounded to the floor or you can lie down on your bed if you prefer.
2- Now that you’re comfortable breath in through your noise to the count of seven.
3- Next, hold your breath to the count of seven, you can count out in your head or you can count out loud if you prefer.
4 - Finally, breath out through your mouth until you have fully exhaled.
Continue with this exercise for around 5 minutes because this is how long it takes for the oxygen and carbon dioxide levels to become level in your body.
This relaxation exercise helps your body to relax quickly and easily so that you’re finally ready resolve with your arguments with your partner.
If you would like access even more effective relaxation exercises, then you can check out my “Relaxation Mastery” CD here.
Finally, once you and your partner are both calm, you’re now ready to use my proven 4-Step Argument Resolution Blueprint.
You're now know being relaxed is the first skill to use if you want to know how to stop arguments in your relationship quickly.
How To Stop Arguments?
My prove 4-Step Arguments Resolution Blueprint is a simple but very effective blueprint that you can use to finally resolve your arguments with your partner.
It’s important to point out that you need be calm before you can use this blueprint but if you’ve fully engaged in the “Seven, Seven, Seven” relaxation exercise you’ll be very relaxed and ready to start this activity.
Before I walk you step-by-step through the 4-step blueprint, please get yourself a pen and a piece of paper so that you can fully engage in this activity.
4-Step Argument Blueprint
1 Argument- what are you arguing about? Firstly, you need to be very clear on what you and your partner are arguing about. Once you’re clear about what you’re arguing about, you need to write it down on your piece of paper.
2 Solutions- what are your solutions? Now, brainstorm your solutions that will help you to resolve what you’re arguing about.
3 Pros & Cons- what are the pros and cons of each solution? Next, you need to evaluate the pros and cons of each of the solutions.
4 Best Solution- what is your best solution? Finally, you need to pick the best solution. The best solution is the one that has the most pros and the least cons.
When you use this exercise, you’ll be using the logically part of your brain. You might still not agree with the best solution but it’s important that you accept it if you want to stop your arguments from destroying your relationship and life.
With everything in life, you might find it hard to use this activity at first but the more you practice it you’ll get better at resolving your arguments.
Finally, if you really want to reduce the amount of arguments that you’re having in your relationship then I recommend that you fully engage in the 4-Step L.I.F.E Transformation Blueprint.
How To Stop Arguing With Your Partner?
I believe that we all want to be in a happy, loving, trusting and fulfilling relationship where we feel wanted, loved, needed and special. If this is what you want for your relationship and life, then It’s important that you create it.
For the past 10 years I’ve worked with and helped thousands of couples and individuals to deal with all kinds of relationships problems. I’ve discovered that 80% of the couples and individuals that I’ve helped, have a common problematic theme.
Basically, they are not fulfilled in their personal life or relationship. It’s important that you engage in activities that help you to experience a sense of enjoyment, pleasure, fun, happiness and excitement.
Fulfilment is basically split into two areas of your life. The first area is your personal life, you need to do things that create enjoyment, pleasure, happiness and achievement for you. These activities must be done without your partner.
The second area of fulfilment is your relationship, you and your partner need to do things that create enjoyment, pleasure, fun, happiness and excitement. If you don’t do things that create these emotions and feeling then you’ll feel down, sad and angry and you’ll have more arguments.
My L.I.F.E Transformation Blueprint is specifically designed to help you to enhance your personal fulfillment. Once you’ve worked on your personal fulfilment, you’ll see a positive impact on your life and relationship.
L.I.F.E Transformation Blueprint
L-Leisure & Social- Brainstorm a range of leisurely and social activities that you could engage in on a weekly basis. They can be new or existing activities. Once you have a list of activities, then you need to plan them into your day. I recommend spending 10 minutes each night planning your next day of leisurely and social activities.
I- Inner-Peace & Relaxation – Brainstorm a range of inner-peace and relaxation activities that will help you to relax. For example, relaxation exercises like my (Seven, Seven, Seven). I recommend that you plan inner-peace and relaxation activities into your day.
F- Food & Drink – Think about what you eat and drink daily. Then list out what healthy foods and drinks you could increase, and what unhealthy foods and drinks you could decrease. It’s important to understand that what you eat, and drink has a massive impact on your overall mood and well-being.
E- Exercise & Fitness – Brainstorm a range of exercises and fitness activities that you can engage in on a weekly basis. It doesn’t have to be working out at the gym, it can just be going for a relaxing walk. When you exercise it releases natural chemicals in your brain that make you feel good.
By following the steps above you’ll see a massive positive impact on your overall health and well-being, and it will help you to feel more fulfilled. This will help you to reduce the amount of arguments that you’re having.
How Can You Communicate Effectively?
Being able to communicate effectively with your partner is essential if you want to be able to stop arguments quickly and easily. Now, I’m going walk you through my 4-Step Communication Method.
1 Listen – Listen to what’s being said, don’t speak when your partner is speaking “just listen”, you might not agree with what they, but you need to listen without interrupting them. Once they have finished speaking, they need to allow you to speak without them interrupting you.
2 Empathy – You need to be more empathetic, according to Wikipedia Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, that is, the capacity to place oneself in another's position. Ask yourself “How would I feel if this was happening to me”. Empathy is considered an essential skill to use if you want to improve your communication.
3 U.P.R – Unconditional Positive Regard (U.P.R) mean to not judge your partner for what they have done or said. Nobody is perfect, we’ve all done things that we shouldn’t have done “me include”. When you judge your partner, this stops them from being truthful in the future.
4 Congruence - Congruence means to be honest with your partner and to be honest with yourself. Lying to your partner, is the quickest way to destroy your relationship, therefore it’s important to be honest if you want to be in a healthy relationship.
You now understand that we argue so much because we’re all brought up by different people and therefore, we have different values and beliefs. Therefore, it’s better to learn how to resolves your arguments instead of just splitting up with your partner because your relationships will always end with separation.
Remember, it’s impossible to resolve your arguments with your partner when you’re angry because of the way your brain is designed. Therefore, it’s important to remove yourself from the situation to give you and your partner time to calm down.
Now you have access to my proven relaxation exercise, Seven, Seven, Seven. It’s important to use this exercise when you’re feeling angry with your partner because it will help you to return to the logical part of your brain so that you can resolve your arguments.
You can now use my proven 4-step Argument Resolution Blueprint to help you and your partner to resolve your arguments quickly. This will help you to reduce the risk of your arguments escalate into bigger relationship problems.
Now that you understand that it’s essential that you’re doing things that help you to feel more fulfilled in your personal life and within your relationship. You can use my proven L.I.F.E Transformation Blueprint to reduce the amount of arguments that you’re having.
If you follow everything that I’ve shared with you in this article you now know how to stop arguments.
Comment below, “what strategy do you like the best?” For example, my L.I.F.E Transformation Blueprint and finally don’t forget to share this article on social media (Sharing Is Caring).